you think we're lost, we're exploring

today at work while thinking if i would be my boss would i fire myself, i caught a thought. how many of the choices that have changed my life have been directly influenced by men.. well of course i understand that people around us influence us, but some of the decisions i've made have been influenced by people i maybe have met just once...
if i go back 10 years it was me and my then best friend. in our class was this new boy, well at that time there were a lot of new boys, but he caught my eye immediately - this dark-haired cute guy. my friend who didn't have such crush on him as i did told me then - for him we have to stick around and not get kicked out of school, not that it would have threatend me anyway ever, on the other hand her...
and then about 7 years ago i met this guy who does not have the same nationality as i do, but i thought if i have this serious crush on him, i'll learn his language, since we were both terrible in other mother languages.. well that didn't work out, later i just thought that i didn't have that great crush on him..
here's one story more - when things were turning bad with my bad romance and we worked on the same building, i didn't have issuses with that, but anyway wanted out, so i decided i needed to go to university, to get something more...
and now 4 years later when i look for new job and seach for myself i looked a job offer, the contact person was someone who i have met before, one of the cutest eye candies ever. and there it was, the thing he offered was something i knew instantly i wanted to do, i want to go and study more this field and work in that.. maybe it's irrational decision based on my stupid emotion, maybe it's more
so you might think i'm lost, i'm just exploring... with little help from male creatures

I'm gonna marry the night

i feel like it's time for things to turn out good for me. i mean these bad things have happened too much to me and i am to blame partly for all that. i am ready for the good times. and maybe i function better alone, at least a function somehow, not feel as broken as i've felt for few last months. so i dance on my own and marry the night
talk baby talk and blink your eyes, you sure look fine! :)