oh well, i finally did it. i've aimed higher and reached a goal i set to myself, even quicker than i hoped for. i know i don't really know how to write anything while i'm feeling so damn good. last attenpt basically ended with only one word - whoohoo!!!
so i took a chance in which i really didn't believe in, i knew i had other options, but not that comfortable as that last one. i joked on it and then all the suddenly, it was a certain plan - i go and i do it!
and all this started develop so fast, you have no idea, monday was the interview and on friday i singed, sealed and it was delivered to me - that baby is mine! it's quite difficult to understand all that still, now when i've had time to think about it for longer. anyway a good reason to buy some shoes and clothes. i put my eye on new phone too - pink it must be, even though i'll get a work phone too. feels so grown up. i've even abandoned my 3-rd, 4-th, 5-th and 6-th earring (thank god that my tattoo and bellybutton ring are quite hidden from everyone's eyes). btw my contract says that i'm not allowed to get preagnant for next 1.5 years. no problem there until i'm in charge in that area. it's not like you fall preagnant as you fall ill, right :)
there was this intense time between wednesday and friday, the second interview and then waiting for the decision. anyone who's seen Kimi Räikkönen, or at least seen his faceexpression pretty much all the time - emotionless, you maybe could imagine me as him. as funny as it might sound for an emotional person as i am - i felt the same way, not really encouranging myself, always be ready ready for the best, but be more ready for the worst solution. i tried not to show my emotions to my co-workers, everybody knew anyway, these things are never secret in our house. and not only that, i was competing against my own friend. for me it's the worst feeling ever, one of us had to lose. and i've lost to her once. we joked with my co-workers that if i land this thing then i'll act like those america's next top models - first act surprised and think - oooohhh it's me.. and then start to cry as loud as possible..
to say that i was surprised wouldn't be entirely true, though i'm not so sure if i'm entirely ready to take that much resposiblity on my shoulders... well we just have to wait and see how things turn out.
at this moment one thing is clear - i don't have problems getting weekends off for f1 or nascar (okay, i don't really need a off-weekend for nascar, but i'm not really thrilled about thinking that i should work after i've woken up at 2.a.m to watch the race), and then feel bad about this because of my co-workers.
i've worked for this chance for 2.5 years, now it's time to show that i'm worth it :)
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