today i started to wonder how did things go so wrong, how did my best friend, who once called me her sister, became someone who i almost hate (for hating i need a lot more anger, now i'm just disappointed). in friendship you have ups a downs. half of the word friendship already is related to relationship. and there are some ships that go down, down, down... you forgive and you forget, but this time this is it, no more.
i take the blame for being naive, also for being the talkactive side and that i get quickly angry and i say sometimes things that i shouldn't have to. also that i make jokes that people all the time don't get and i am mean to the others. but in that case that other side should take also blame in something, right? because i'm not the black one and she is white.
our friendship was over a long time ago, only i was too afraid to take hew off from my friends list first, i remember the drama when i deleted her pictures from my online albums, coward i know. and i really don't like to be the one who is at war with someone for long, it's tiring. maybe that's why she knew she had so much freedom to do what she wants, in the end it was me who apologized even though i did nothing wrong.
but now she has taken this thing to absolutly another level. her tantrum once again created a lovely chaos and once more i'm the one she blames for everything, although again like previous times i'm just a bystander. though i have now back my freedom of speach in facebook, i see no end to her kindergarten games, quite contrary. i don't want to fall that deep as she is. i want to break free!
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