you know what, for moths i've been trying to keep myself away from temptation to hold my mind rested and to be ready. that means limiting my alchol consumption to almost none, relax, try to have my as thoughtless mind before going to sleep as possible or just to concentrate of one tiny thing, think on how long time i sleep etc. and when i wake up in the morning, i feel the disappointment, oh well, not tonight then, maybe i should try less. and then i try to try less and nothing happens again.
but not tonight. tonight i have just given up, i've done almost everything i avoided previously. maybe i tried to hard before and forget the essence of that so precious thing in the first place. if i turn out my headlights how can it find me again?
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