it's if i'm scared, it's if i'm terrified

today i walked out of the third medical instituion i visted with the biggest grin on my face. but let's get back to the beginning.
some 5-6 years ago my then doctor diagnosed that i had a nasty little bug inside me, to say so and it future it could cause a bit trouble to me. and prescribed me killer antibiotics to get rid of that. needless to say that antibiotics and me don't go together well - i was not only on verge of fainting in that 5 days i took them, i fainted during that time repeatedly, lost all my appetite (not bad though), my once broken arm was swollen from the place i broke it and multiple other problems kept occuring. i think i should say that when she examed me back then, she just relied on my complaints and descriptions and just by pushing to places i said hurted.
so now last week the similar symptoms occured again. i tried to keep that to myself as much as possible, i hate to worry my family members. and it's with all things, last year when i had some work trouble i didn't tell any of my family member about it. why? well i guess i'm afraid, i know my 2 sisters would worry like hell, but my mother is different case. she either is worse than those two or she tells me to get over it, or it's not that big deal. usually it's the last one, i hate when someone especially my mother says that it's not a big deal.
so i read all these places where they described the diseases and their description of symtops and mine seemed just like alike. the least to say was that i was terrified. what helps the best then? distract yourself with something else. luciky i had to work, which meant i had no time to vist any doctors. it didn't mean of course that i wasn't like sitting on needles. oh yeah, since i was so afraid of harming myself some more, i refused to drink wine at my sisters husband b'day party (imagine their faces now). finally today i got things going on and visited first place where they told me i could get appointment first in the middle of january. then i visited my new doctor who ruled out one of the sicknesses we discussed, but left the one that kept me worried even more and my new doctor instrucked me to go back on the first place. she also suggested me another place, where at last i got my full examination, which said that i didn't have that 'bug' 5-6 years ago even in first place, and not eveb now. that meant i have just a tiny virus or something. wow, i wonder where my first doctor got that crazy idea to put me on antibiotics for nothing then?