if you lose me then you know, you're just a bit too slow. i only go up!

about 11 months ago i was devastated - why this, why now, is the insane, does he really just throw everything away? i'm not alking about any of my ex'es.. they are insane anyway if they get involved with me.
earlier this week i read a notice which was similar to the one i read 11 months ago, only difference was that i had a hint about it already on the weekend, in january it just hit me, it was like a thunder without rain.

one song is over another one left, the more you know, the more you know, you try to forget.

needless to say that in january i wasn't really happy about it, but how to break it to unfairly genetically blessed guy? so i just told him that his happiness is the main thing to which he replyed that everything looked good and he was happy. note that we actually don't know each other and don't call or text or mail every other day. just sometimes when i'm really lucky he has something to say. anyway that answer gave me a little peace of mind, but i still didn't want him to go after the thing he said he wanted, how selfish am i! i mean i wanted him to do something maybe he didn't want anymore. i selfishly thought that he is taking the easiest way, that he is giving up on my (and i believed it was also his) dream, because he was tired of fighting. and i started to thing that he was on giving up course only because of one setback..  (okay, maybe there was more..) i wasn't even ready to accept that the he might have changed his mind about his dream.
as i've mentioned before there was something that kept him on my radar. for many times i discovered enjoying the things he was doing, he was good and i felt more proud of him than his own mother i think. but in my mind i still hoped that it was just a little breather before he returned to make my life easier, to place where it was easier for me to keep my watchful eye over him. he didn't think so.
on monday i read the news which wasn't really nothing new for me anymore. my first reaction was - he is in good place, he looks good, he even smiles, i hope he knows what he is doing and is sure his decision is true, because once  that thing is signed, sealed and delivered, he belongs to them. there's no turning back without being labeled once again as defeatist, he is not like that, i know it!
next morning i woke up, better rested than ever, more cheerful than ever on tuesday morning (yep not even my favorite tv-show can't make me smile like that, even though there's my celebrity crush), no worries, because i know he did good. i'm happy for him ready to accept his decisions and not only fully support it, but also approve it. if i had two more hands, i'd give unfairly genetically blessed guy 4 thumbs up. now he just has to settle with two. i love him!
the only way to go is up and i know it won't be a slow ride